Life Swapping

I recently traded in my old life for a new one. The funny thing is, your old life just follows right along with you.

October 7, 2010 10:10 pm 9:33 pm 3:25 pm

Yay me!

When I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing enough (being enough, doing enough) I have to take inventory. So here’s to my accomplishments and patting myself on the back.

1. Making necklaces and found an outlet to possibly sell them!

2. Knitting again.

3. Walking regularly.

4. Volunteering in new ways.

5. Being calmer with the boys.

6. Being more vulnerable with Mr. Dashingly Handsome.

7. Staying in my work and looking for ways to make them want to keep me around.

8. Writing more often.

It’s nice to look and see what I’ve accomplished, especially since I am in a place of fear and near emotional paralysis. I have to take credit for the small accomplishments and look forward to taking things to a new level. I’ve been wrenching myself out of old habits for a year and a half now and I find myself constantly trying to retreat back into those comfortable but non-progressive places.

Number 6 is the really challenging one for me. I have spent most of the last 40 years learning to build walls and protect myself from hurt. Doing so also prohibits experiencing great joy and happiness so I have to let go, take some hits (which really aren’t so bad in this case) and let the love and laughter flow through. Whew. Sounds like it should be so easy!